Archive | Random Thoughts, Findings and Interests RSS feed for this section

Broken hearts and Rice-a-Roni

14 Nov

What is a ‘roni’ anyways?? If I was asking Bobby Brown back in the 90’s I’m pretty sure he would say “she’s a sweet ol’ girl, about the sweetest little girl in the whole wide world” But this is not about Bobby Brown’s tenderoni but rather Rice-a-Roni the San Francisco treat!

What I found was that rice-a-roni which was introduced back in 1958 had an original recipe of dry chicken soup mix with rice and macaroni…hence “roni.”  Mystery solved!  However, today the macaroni has been replaced with vermicelli pasta and apparently Rice-a-vermicelli did not flow as good.  Who knew? <Insert shrugged shoulders>

Now I am sure you are asking yourself what does broken hearts and rice-a-roni have in common?? Well nothing really but lots of carbs always helps a broken heart feel better.  Am I right??  As some of us get older (not me of course but I have heard) our hearts seem to get more bruised and creates a protective barrier and in my head I picture a red glossy shell almost like a hard candy shell (Yum).  This is a natural instinctive protective way our hearts protect us from a potential sting of loss, rejection or just expectations we had about a person/situation.

Well I am here to tell you or rather spell out for you broken hearts are AWESOME although we don’t always feel that way as we are picking up the jigsaw pieces of my heart.  It has taken me a long time to understand that you can’t break something if you never pick it up.  I have had my heart broken many times from first loves (yes there were many) to divorce to saying goodbye to friendships that have run their course or even when my expectations did not live up.  There have been easy heartbreaks that didn’t seem to faze me but what I realized is that I didn’t really love.  Now don’t get me wrong I don’t enjoy having my heart broken but it does remind me that I am still alive and EVEN have the ability to be vulnerable and open.   I have consciously taken on being more courageous and open to a broken heart rather than trying to protect a closed heart.  This path also requires me to be more open and communicate what I am feeling and what I am feeling right now is…. Hungry…. What I would love is some Rice-a Roni….. please excuse me…

Tags: ,

Orcas are NOT WHALES!!!

29 Oct

Hello!  Long time no talk or in our case no write, no read!  Oh how I have missed this voice in my head.  I feel it’s most appropriate to share with you something that has recently come up for me and explains where I have been.

To start off this journey I would first like to share a story with you on my discovery that Orcas are NOT killer whales!  In fact they aren’t even part of the whale family at all and are actually part of the dolphin family.  These amazing marine mammals are actually WHALE killers.  Umm that’s kind of a totally different meaning once you switch those two words around.   The Orca has been known to kill seals, sharks (yes great whites), humans (watch Black Fish) and in some reported cases – moose swimming between islands.  Now that is one bad ass whale killer!

So imagine my dismay to learn that most if not 99% of the people I tell this to have no idea that Oracs are not actually whales! Which I’m actually pretty shocked to know I have some super-secret weird knowledge on anything.  Is this how smart people feel??  What actually shocks me the most is how it seems that most of these unknowing people have no issue with it?  When I found out it rocked my world!  How could I have been taught all these years that Shamu is not a Killer whale but actually the predator of the whales?  How could people just act like they were not lied to about these creatures that we use a child transportation modules around an amusement park (look it up, it was a thing) dedicated to the belief that these are part of the family that in reality they kill?  Apparently people do not really mind as long as there an amusement park built around a false idea that we all believe.

So this began my journey of being okay in a world that is not always what you think it is.  I have many more awesome discoveries and learnings I have encounter the past few years that have made me smile, cry, laugh and sometimes feel not good enough.  I have also learned that no matter how much work you do on yourself to be okay with ever changing uncontrollable world there are still sometimes that I can’t help feeling so much passion around and want the world to feel the same level of emotion around… Like Orcas are NOT WHALES!!!!!!!!!

 

For more information on Oracs please visit the site below:

https://us.whales.org/wdc-in-action/facts-about-orcas

Where did you come from Mr. Lizard?!

31 Jan

The other day I was in my bathroom doing bathroom stuff and I saw a Lizard in the corner! I froze! He froze! We both didn’t know what to do…. I think we both thought if we didn’t move maybe the other wouldn’t see us. I didn’t scream but I calmly removed myself from the room ran upstairs to get something to block the bottom of the door to make sure he could not leave. I returned to find him in exact the same spot. Still frozen! I calmly turned off the light and shut the door. Then I blocked the bottom of the door to make sure he didn’t get out! I trapped him. I walked away and tried to focus on my paper writing that needed tending too! Actually I did pretty good to avoid the fact that there was a baby alligator in my bathroom. Ok baby lizard but it could grow up to be an alligator!

As I sat and avoided the issue I blocked it out of my mind and kept thinking….How did it get inside? Is there a secret society of lizards living in my walls? Maybe it will just go away. Maybe I don’t ever need to use the bathroom again. Yes that it! I will block the door and never allow anybody to in that room again. He will eventually die and I don’t need to deal with it. Brilliant! That was it…I was just going to run over to the Home Depot buy some cement and get some of that police tape at the police tape store and close off the bathroom. Done! Lizard problem solved.

Then I thought MAYBE I was over reacting. I mean people have these little dudes as pets. I could surely ask him to leave like a big girl. So that is what I did. I calmly (and by calmly I mean frantically) opened the door and began to have a conversation with said lizard. I cleared my throat and looked around to make sure I was indeed alone and said “I would just like to start by saying, thank you for your visit but I am not longer housing lizards of your kind in my home.” To which he said nothing and thank goodness or else I would have another problem! So I did what every ‘normal’ person out there would do and I trapped him in Christmas popcorn tin. Who knew that when I purchased the tin it was not only a lovely snack of three different types of popcorn but also a lizard catcher! So I proceeded to scoot the lizard out trapped in the tin. Surprisingly he still did not talk, but I am pretty sure he peed. As I pushed the tin across the floor my heart was beating so hard I thought it would poop out of my chest. My hands were sweating so bad I was afraid I was going to let the tin slip and fall over and the lizard would be free in my house again. It was the longest trip of my life to my very own front door. Once I finally made it to the door I lifted up the tin and nothing came out! At this point I was ready to pass out. How could this be? Where did he go? I had a perfectly executed plan! Then out of nowhere he dropped to the outside ground. I shut and locked the door then sat on my couch and finally started breathing again!

Now I know what you must be saying, “it’s only a lizard.” True it was only a baby lizard, but I removed this creature from my life from my home. After wards I thought about all the negativity or negative energy or negative people I have removed from my life and thought, why was I afraid of a lizard. That whole night that I fretted over how the lizard got inside in the first place was a “moo point” (for my Joey fans). It did not matter how it got there. What mattered was that I took care of business when it was time.

When you finally realize that there is something icky in your life. If there is something that makes you feel bad, scared, or less than totally awesome get rid of it! Don’t ignore it or act like it will go away on its own because it won’t. It will grow and continue to consume your thoughts or in this case my bathroom!

So thank you Mr. Lizard for your visit but I am not longer housing lizards of your kind in my home!

Elevator rides and Swiss cheese

27 Apr

Do you ever feel like life is an elevator ride?  Some days you have your feet on the ground and other days your head is in the clouds.  Or maybe it’s just me and my head is usually in the clouds and my feet are struggling to stay on the ground. 

This year I decided would be the year of the great caterpillar to butterfly transformation.  So far I find myself often overwhelmed and going from one task to the next.  Is that normal during the chrysalis phase?  I have no idea but I never feel lazy that is for sure.  I did, however, recently find myself feeling like a block of cheese, Swiss cheese to be exact!     I felt I was losing my footing or in this analogy losing my cheese holes (I make myself laugh!).   I was running around trying to pick up my cheese all over the place.  It was rather frightening since I am sensitive to lactose.   Nonetheless I was losing my cheese and wondered where I had lost it.  Was it before the marathon I did?  Was it after?  Was it the fact that I was back in school or the fact that I’m trying to train for three different sports (which I am not that good at any I might add)?   Nah it has to be the kids, everything begins and starts with them, just ask them!  Who knows really, but in the end I did this to myself and I am not complaining because honestly I love it.  I love wondering how I am going to make it through the week with 4 assignments, 2 bike rides, 3 runs, 3 swim sessions, not to mention work, kids, their homework and trying not to eat cheese OR donuts.

I remembered while I carried more things than I should back from the cafeteria that there are always people to help.  Help hold the door, help push the elevator button and help remember that it’s the small things in life that mean so much to people.  So while I try to take over the world OR in reality try to show up to the right place on the right day with my teeth brushed I might add, I’m not alone and I just have to ask for help.  The hard part is remembering!     

 

(Please note there is no cheese in the metamorphosis process of a butterfly’s development)

Skills to Pay the Bills

2 Nov

I learned something new today, I learned that you shouldn’t eat a whole loaf of pumpkin bread.  It might seem like a great idea and very delicious but in the end I promise, you will not feel good about your choice!  That’s not all I learned today and while that is very valuable information I’m not sure it is relevant to everyone since maybe I am the only person who makes bad food choices!  What I did learn today could possibly change your life!  Or provide great insight into the lives and thinking of others, in which case you would be eternally grateful to me then that would change my life.  However, I think the reality is that you already know what I’m about to tell you.

I have learned a new skill and this new skill has a very new school name called “Insaning.”  I realize now that my children have been insaning me since I created them.  I will now give you an example of insaning in its early stages.  I was asked by my very sweet child how someone gets a book published.  Of course I was asked this because I’m the smartest person alive and know all the answers to all of the worlds problems and solve them everyday one missing toy at a time.  So I proceed to give my very knowledgable answer of how the publishing world works by saying and I quote, “you write a story and send it to a person who has a lot of money and book making supplies and they decide if they want to turn your story into a book.”  Pretty awesome, right?  Yeah he thought so too!  So the next question was “what if they do not want to make my book?”  I feel stumped for a moment but nonetheless pull out another amazing answer, “well then you ask someone else or rewrite and send it back to them.”  So that is just not good enough and he replies “what happens if you just keep asking them till they say yes?”  I stopped for a moment and asked “what do you mean?”  He said “well the way I want you to take me the store I just keep asking you till you take me.”  It was then that I realized that all these years I had been “tricked” into taking him to the store!  This of course is where it starts.

To give you more insight into the art of insaning people, I recently learned that a person who will remain nameless, is a self proclaimed expert on this and gave me the formula for this skill.  I will now share this formula with you!

Step 1: Talk in circles (I think this means walk in a circle while talking)

Step 2: Ask questions (What kind of car does your friend drive?)

Step 3: Ignore facts (That is not a hurricane it’s just a drizzle with some wind)

Step 4: Whine a little (My feet hurt)

Step 5: Make them feel obligated (You owe me)

Step 6: Repeat step 1-5 until the person will do anything to make the insanity stop.

When you get what you want you have officially insaned the other person.  And that my friends is how you “insane” someone.  I know realize that most of my life I have been playing right into the hands of these insanely crazy people who do whatever it takes to get what they want and while I am shocked and appalled I am also in awe of those who have mastered this skill.  So next time I want something you better watch out because I know exactly how to insane someone.

Please forgive me

2 Sep

I recently had someone comment to me about how forgiving I was.  I thought about it and thought “yeah I guess I am.”  Like so many people in this world I would be stuck if I didn’t forgive people and as other awesome forgiving people out there know it’s about me and my mental health to forgive.  Of course forgiveness is not forgetting.  But this is not about forgiving someone else.  This is about forgiving MYself.  That is a concept that is as foreign to me as proving a theorem in Geometry, blah!  This a journey I never thought I would actually have to make.

I am that person who strives to be a friend who can give her friends that soft and caring loving ear.   Who doesn’t judge because deep down she knows she doesn’t have a right and that’s not what friends do.   All our journeys are different and a good friend tries to say those words that a friend needs to hear most, “you are okay, you did your best, don’t be so hard on yourself.”  After you have a good talk with a good friend you feel better but there is still something nagging, well for me anyways.  I just hear, “you should have known better, what’s wrong with you?”  This self-talk becomes so destructive that we become so mean to ourselves.  Why?? I still don’t understand that but I finally decided to think of what I would say to my own children if they made a mistake, “what are you stupid??” Ha no I’m kidding I would probably use my nicest sweetest voice to tell them it’s okay and people make mistakes.  They are already so mad at themselves they don’t need anymore negative emotions.  As one of my smart teachers said, “why do we fall down, to learn how to get up” (and by teacher I mean Bruce Wayne’s dad in the movie Batman Begins).  I think those are words to live by but hard to remember when we are laying on the floor with a broken piece inside or outside for that matter but this is all ‘hypothetical’ so I’m going to say inside.

I recently read this book, The Way of the Happy Woman by Sara Avant Stover and I believe it changed my life.  I have been telling all my girlfriends to pick it up.  This is when I realized how unbelievable mean I was being to myself.  I finally started to realize that all the crap I had been carrying around with me over the years was weighing me down and taking its toll on my body.  I had a wake up call and if I didn’t forgive myself for all the grudges I had been holding against myself I was going down fast.  So I began to tune it all out and just be with myself and tell myself who is in charge and it’s myself (did you follow that).  I forgave myself for everything, for yelling at my kids that morning, for feeding my children caged chicken eggs (please don’t tell Oprah but they were on sale and I was short that week) or for having a bad hair day (I’m allowed to you know).  My point is I started to be nice to myself.  I started to talk to me like I talk to my friends and it felt good to be let into such an elite club.  I mean just ask you who is reading this right now, you should know!  I learned to be MY friend.  Don’t get me wrong it’s easy to fall back into old habits but I bounce back pretty quickly now since it feels good being so nice to yourself.  You should totally try it, it will make you awesome just like me!!

I’m kind of a mess

1 Sep

When life gets out of control hopefully we all try to do those things that bring us back to our center.  Recently I thought I would try something new just for this purpose.  I heard about Bikram Yoga and thought hey I love hanging out in 105 degree rooms consisting of 40% humidity especially with my curly hair, I should totally try this.  So one morning I decided to get up super early to make a 6:00 am class and partake in this 90 min adventure before work.  So I packed my lunch and grabbed my work wardrobe to make this surreal experience a reality.  So fast forward, which I wish I could have during that class.  Boy it’s hot in there!  I finished and I’m pretty sure I was in the final stages of full on dehydration.  I rehydrated myself and did all the pre-work grooming I needed to get myself into the office at a bright and early 8:00 am.  As I was driving to work I was feeling pretty good about myself.  I had just survived being stranded in the desert while doing the full locust pose.  I was feeling pretty good right about now when i realized, I didn’t brush my teeth today!  How could I not brush my teeth?  Look at me in my cute outfit and I just spent 90 mins doing what I’m supposed to do to be a very grounded spiritual person and I couldn’t manage to brush my teeth?  As I told this story to my friend her response which are words I live by now, “you can’t have it ALL together.”

I realized that as much as we try to have it all together at moments I am generally not one of those people.  I am that person who drops my sunglasses about 100 times a day.  I park horribly and I’m that person I see so many post photos about where people are mad at the parking jobs of these ‘not together’ people.  I was even called out from work to re-park my car.  The security guard literally asks me every morning I come to work if I parked okay.  I need an assistant.  I might not be as important as famous actors and actresses but why can’t I seem to get myself together?   Then I realized my problem is multitasking.  I am NOT a good multitasker.  If you ask me to get you a cup of coffee, I can do that.  I can even put cream AND sugar in it if you want.  But please don’t ask me for coffee AND a trombone.  I would bring you back a Fanta and some crayons (ok maybe not that crazy but close I’m sure).  As soon as there is one more task I’m a mess.  We are in a society that celebrates multitasking to the max!  Why do I have to do a million things in 5 minuets.  I think I would rather do 500,000 things okay or even 250,000 things pretty good or 1 thing awesomly.  I mean why do we have to do everything?? Who are we trying to impress?  People who probably don’t care one iota (I love that word and try to interject it most of my conversations but fail miserably a lot) about us?  I used to think multitasking was something to strive to be.  Then I realized I’m not a juggler.  I didn’t go to clown school although I have been to a clown convention.

My point is and yes I have a point is just like my very wise friend said to me, “we can’t have it all together.”  So if you forget to brush your teeth or park your car bad, who cares?? I don’t!  In fact I would rather spend my precious time here on this planet with other messes out there so if you’re reading this and you’re a mess….Holla!!!  We are awesome!

Infomercials How I Love Thee

25 Aug

I have recently found myself addicted to the mulit-billion dollar industry of infomercials.  From the abdomenizer to the thigh master, I love a good infomercial and I know I’m not alone.  How do I know I’m not alone?  I don’t know how many friend’s I know actually had one of these items.  I am not sure if it’s the fitness craz infiltrating the George Foreman monopoly of infomercials but the new wave of infomercials have gotten smart!  Well smarter than me anyways.  This new birth of infomercials have give us P90X, Insanity, The Brazilian Butt workout and my personal favorite that I actually own, is the Tracy Anderson Metamorphosis.  This is a 90 day plan for women based on your body type will have a specific workout routine just for you!  Sounds amazing right?!  I know I was sold too.  Just like many of you other infomercial junkies I found myself searching through my TV guide on my DVR to actually watch Tracy in the middle of the day!  Yeah it’s true infomercials aren’t just on in the middle of the night anymore this is the “New style” and I can dream about having the most tone thighs in the middle of the day!  So I bought it!  Yep I did and I’m still waiting for my transformation to occur.   Tracy said that if I did everything she told me to do I could have the perfect body!  I am still waiting…

Here is the great thing about Infomercials now, they aren’t just for workout equipment or routines but now skin care.  That’s right my other new obsession is the home care skin care line promoted by my old pal Cindy Crawford.  Yesyou read that right, miss super model herself is pushing her latest and greatest find and sharing it with the rest of the world.  Her secret is that she is friends with these scientists who apparently discovered a rare melon in a remote region in the south of France that stays fresh and firm longer than the rest of the melons in the world.  So these super smart scientists (or SSSs) have found a way to extract the enzyme and make face cream for us normal aging melons!  It is a miracle and it’s all mine.  Well it can be yours to all you have to do is go to the website and sign up and PAY!!  So while the rest of the world is aging I will be smearing a rare melon on my face and doing everything Tracy Anderson tells me to do.  Funny thing is that both of these ladies have straight hair!  I am not trying to be like them but I do enjoy is the idea of the infomercial.  That 30 mins of bliss that if you use their product then something great will happen.  I love the journey of the infomercial.  The excitement of the actors or those who have used the product and LOVED it.  I want to feel that joy, that excitement, that euphoria!!

I love Infomercials…

Curly Hair

24 Aug

I have had curly for exactly 38 years, 4 days and give or take a few hours.  I have not always enjoyed the curls.  In fact if you can believe it I went through a “I want straight-hair” phase.  Shocking I know.  I even went through a perm phase or as my grandpa and the cowardly lion from the Wizard of Oz called them a “permanent.”   I know you are asking yourself, “why would someone with naturally curly hair get a perm?”   That is a great question and I will have to refer you to my mother on that one.  Oh and if you do ask her about that can you ask her what she was thinking with those God awful beige corduroy knickers she made me wear in the 3rd grade.  I am still not over that!

So back to my hair.  Yes I was like most young girls who saw everything great about other girls and wanted to take the best of their qualities and make the perfect version of ourselves.  Which is funny because all those pieces didn’t include any of who we really were.  I remember the first time I had straight hair.  It was a dream come true.  My friend was getting married and I was lucky enough to be in the wedding party.  First bridesmaid gig and boy was it a treat to actually go get my hair did!  So I marched into the beauty shop of lovely Fontana and tell the hair dresser make me beautiful!  So she asks, “would you like your hair straightened?”  I was shocked and thought, “there is no way she can make this head of hair straight.”  I had no idea that black women had been paying these hair dressers to make their hair straight for years.  Remember I grew up in Fontana obviously I didn’t make it into the  beauty salon very often.  Any who after a shampoo, a blow-dry and a serious hot iron session I had straight hair like those girls on TV.   Wow I looked at myself in the mirror and had no idea who was staring back.  So it began my quest to recreate this amazing moment of my hair’s history.  Of course I was never able to perfect it so I kept the curly hair.

Then it happened!  Julia Roberts portrays a crazy red-headed prostitute in Pretty Woman.  Well this changed everything.  People were all into the curls.  Now should I even go into the fact that we are a society trying to emulate a  prostitute.  The answer is No, not in this blog.  Ok so now my hair had clout and street cred!  I had hair like Vivian Ward and that’s fine by me (minus the fact I was not a prostitute).   So time continues and technology develops and brings the beauty salon straighten irons into the homes of regular folk like myself.   I was obsessed.  Planning days in advance as to when and how I was going to wash my hair, blow dry and then spend the next laborious hours of straightening my hair.  It wasn’t until I was actually burning my hands, arms and scalp with the hot iron did I start to question what I was doing.  I was finally able to look like all the other ‘pretty’ girls.  But didn’t they just make a movie about a Pretty Woman who didn’t have curly hair?? I was confused.  Who was I?  Do I have straight hair or curly hair?  Well the answer is easy and since you are on my blog you know the answer.  I am a curly girl.  I am a girl who is happy to look in the mirror and see her hair all over the place because that is exactly how I am.  All over the place.  I love that my hair get frizzy when the weather is humid because that is exactly how I feel when it’s humid.  I have finally accepted and actually love this part of who I am.  It feels so amazing to be accepting of me.   You know what else I learned?? That the only opinion that matters is yours anyways since you are the one who is with you the whole time so be who you are.

I will end my first post with a realization I had tonight…I am really good at being me!